Hold up, are you yelling at me or shitting at me? Then we are content to be alone. Whats the latest dope besides you? Whatever anyone says to you goes in one ear and out the other because nothing is blocking traffic. When I want your opinion, Ill rattle your cage! When they made you, they broke the mold and beat the mold maker. When you die, Id like to go to your funeral, but Ill probably have to go to work that day. Too bad most of them are hookers. Good Comebacks 1. Here, let me wash the stupid right off of you. If you are a two-faced person At least you can make one of them look pretty. You owe it an apology. And someone tried to get a baseball bat. If I had a face like yours, Id sue my parents. You shouldnt act hard-to-get when youre already hard-to-like. Student: "By staying home" These were some cool insults and comebacks that must have brought a smile on your face. Oops, my bad. I'm sorry, did I roll my eyes out loud? I found it in my business. Id give you a slap, but thatd be animal abuse. If youre going to act like a turd, go lay on the yard. You have an old soul, think about it, your face is old too. "Why don't you show more confidence and less arrogance." "How did you slip into the gene pool? Id say youre funny, but looks arent everything. Hey, your village called they want their idiot back. I want to help you out. "If I had a fuck to give, I wouldn't waste it on your problems." 2. If you have a problem with me, write the problem on a piece of paper, fold it, and shove it up your ass. 5. Finally! Learn from your parents mistake Use birth control. Girl: Youre so fat!Guy: Hey, I may be fat, but youll always be ugly, and I can diet! If you were twice as smart, you'd still be . 56. "If I wanted to hear what an asshole sounded like, I'd fart. Is that comment meant to offend me? You should really come with a warning label. Press Enter / Return to begin your search. XBL: Crimson Carmine. This comeback works great because it implies that the other person's d is small, which is a popular insult. I ignored you the first time. Total Money Magnetism Full Review & Recommendation, Pure Natural Healing Review A Detailed Look, How to be funny and make someone laugh over text just by being YOU, How to learn to be witty and win over everyone in the room, 20 wise medieval insults you could bring back into trend, 12 types of humor you can use and how it affects the people around you, How to be funny and make people love your company, 30 foolproof pickup lines and 10 you should never ever use, How to have playful banter and keep the flirting alive forever, 20 things you MUST know to master a dry sense of humor, The step-by-step guide to being a funny person and make everyone love your company. You bring everyone so much joy when you leave the room. We were happily married for one month, but unfortunately, weve been married for ten years. 62. People who tell you to be yourself have given you bad advice. 84. RELATED: Adults Find These 180+ Jokes For Kids To Be Freaking Hilarious 1. I will ignore you so hard you will start doubting your existence. There are some remarkably dumb people in this world. 68. November 5, 2021 Are you a haunted house? If you added any more weight, the elevator wouldnt move. These cookies do not store any personal information. Sometimes its just best to be clever in your response to make the other person seem dumb or silly. Me neither. 76. Id give you a nasty look, but youve already got one. When life gives us those lemons, we will be sure to use them, okay? "You should really come with a warning label." 9. I like to make you look disgusting. If you ran like your mouth, youd be in good shape. "Kiss My Ass!" 33 very creative insults to intellectually insult someone with your sarcasm, How to be a fun texter and make anyone laugh while reading your texts, Feeling Unappreciated? Husband: "Thank God! 57. I only take you everywhere I go, so I dont have to kiss you goodbye. Do you see the light at the end of the tunnel? 157 Dirty Minded Jokes That Will Bring Out Your Naughty Side We all need a major break in our lives either through casual funny jokes or some dirty minded jokes that may sound inappropriate but can lift up our mood during the tiresome phase. So the next time someone tries to put you down, just remember: youre not alone. Seeing as not everyone can be articulate on the fly, having a list of sharp and clever comebacks in reserve could do wonders to your banter game. So for once . Please cancel my subscription to your issues. A: The back of my hand. I never even listen when you tell me them. Her mouth moved, but I only heard blah blah blah?? Youre not as bad as people say, youre worse. If you dont like me, acquire some taste. Youre cute. 94. you grow on people But then again, so does cancer. Your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory. Mirrors cant talk. All your calories go to your big head and not your body. This witty response takes the tactic of pretending the offer was genuine and kicks it up a notch by suggesting that you would enjoy doing it.if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[300,250],'grammarhow_com-leader-2','ezslot_19',116,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-grammarhow_com-leader-2-0');if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[300,250],'grammarhow_com-leader-2','ezslot_20',116,'0','1'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-grammarhow_com-leader-2-0_1');.leader-2-multi-116{border:none!important;display:block!important;float:none!important;line-height:0;margin-bottom:7px!important;margin-left:auto!important;margin-right:auto!important;margin-top:7px!important;max-width:100%!important;min-height:250px;padding:0;text-align:center!important}. Igor is a SEO specialist, designer, and freelance writer. Because you've made a part of me move without even touching it. I don't know what makes you so stupid, but it really works. 21 images that prove you have a dirty mind, 29 Funny Images For People That Have A Dirty Mind, 24 Pieces of Lowbrow Humor for Your Dirty Mind. Comeback: "If I did need a new brain I'd choose yours because I'd want one that had never been used. Girl: "Wanna hear a joke about my pussy? 7. I thought of you today. As an outsider, what do you think of the human race? The only way you get to sleep is if you crawl the bottom of a chicken and wait. Now you can be! But its almost impossible to get your head that far. Wherever you are! Well, Id better go find the best looking guy then! Id say youre dumb as a rock, but at least a rock can hold a door open. You are about to exceed the limits of my medication. You are a day late and a dollar short. Im jealous of all the people that havent met you. So let's dive right in. 52. This will likely leave them dumbfounded. Brains aren't everything. Im lonely, not desperate. In the hustle and bustle of our daily lives, finding time to unwind is becoming more of a luxury than a necessity. Im busy right now; can I ignore you another time? Guy: Id go through anything for you.Girl: Good! "Grammar error on Facebook? 54. Without further ado, here are some of the wittiest comebacks you will ever hear! This comeback is witty because it takes the negative rude energy of smd and sends it right back to them by implying youre having a relationship with their mother. Mirrors cant talk, and lucky for you they cant laugh either. "Stupidity really agrees with you." This category only includes cookies that ensures basic functionalities and security features of the website. You can jump directly to your favorite category: Do you like these ? / Girl: Shut up. . Did the mental hospital test too many drugs on you today? 0 Comments. Use them at your own risk! 75. Your pickup lines are so bad, even your mom rejected them. How impressive! Im glad to see youre not letting education get in the way of your ignorance. 3. Just because you have a dick doesnt mean you have to act like a gamecock. 4. Your email address will not be published. You are like the sunnot because you light up my world, but because it hurts to look at you. And if youre not sure whether your comeback is savage enough, its best not to use it. Should I offer you a tic-tac or a toilet paper? 83. If I wanted to kill myself I'd climb your ego and jump to your IQ. I've always wanted to meet your family. If you spoke your mind, you'd be speechless. 15+ Good Comebacks when Someone Swears at You! Dont hate me because Im beautiful. The real glory is being knocked to your knees and then coming back. Furthermore, he has teaching experience from Aarhus University. Back to The Comebacks Soundbytes. They say opposites attract. Can we normalize telling you that you arent so wonderful. 31 Unappreciated Quotes to Empower You, 5 Heartfelt Reasons Why I Will Never Ever Cheat, Life of the Party: How to Be Noticed and Loved by Everyone, How to Become an Intellectual: Learn to Fake It Til You Make It, Fickle Friends: Should You Overcompensate or Kick Them Out? Clever responses are better for when you are maybe annoyed or angered by the person who said smd and you want to one-up them with a clever response that makes you look smart. Someday youll go far. Boy: Fuck you, you little bitch! No way, I dont know where that thing has been! Youre basically bathed in oil. Your house is so dirty you have to wipe your feet before you go outside. Rocket Chinese Review Learn Chinese Quickly. Ive heard you think youre quite the catch. Why can you be such an idiot? Because your days are numbered!" All of the classic one liners with a few extras! These comebacks are best for those situations where you don't just want to insult someoneyou want to own the room. Sign up to receive the latest and greatest articles from our site automatically each week (give or take)right to your inbox. After all, winning is all that matters! Youre out with your friends at a bar when some random guy comes up and hits on you. Rude Jokes, I only take you everywhere I go, so I don't have to kiss you goodbye. The following answers do not require ingenuity. 24. 41. "I Call Bullshit" I think you already know that you are a social worker. I like to insult you but you may not understand, 78. Guy: Your place or mine?Girl: Both. 29. then you will be ready. You're twice the d*ck you were yesterday. I am sorry. Your wig is slipping, and so are your senses. The only way my husband would ever get hurt during an activity is if the TV exploded. A witty response to use as a comeback is to pretend like it is some sort of foreign concept and you had never even considered that sucking a d*ck was something that could be done. Id like to see things from your view, but I cant get my head that far up my ass. 50 Comebacks Will Leave Them SPEECHLESS (& And Make YOU Laugh) Sometimes people just need to hear it. Download "Dirty mind" Sound: Download Sound. A fool is the same all year round, and we celebrate you on April 1st. Stupidity isnt a crime, so youre free to go. Girlfriend says "YEP,a sea horse." Jesus might love you, but everyone else definitely thinks youre an idiot. Remember when I asked for your opinion? Im sorry to hurt your feelings. You are the human equivalent of a participation award. Son: "Not enough I have to go back again tomorrow." Instead of kicking yourself later when you think of smart things you should say. Do I look ugly? I would kick you in the vagina, but I dont want to lose my shoe. Im sorry, I couldnt hear you over the sound of how wrong you are. Martin has been featured as an expert in communication and teaching on Forbes and Shopify. I was trying to look like you today. I was today years old when I realized I didnt like you. My friend thinks he is smart. number? Id love to kill you with kindness, but all I have is this chainsaw. Too bad you cant Photoshop your ugly personality. Let's go to the zoo. He could look through a keyhole with both eyes. I heard your parents took you to a dog show and you won. Hey, you have something on your chin. Must have been a long and lonely journey. This is no battle of wits between you and me. "Did you hear that? Husband: "Hey babe, you smell that?" I hear that when you were a child, your mother wanted to hire someone to take care of you, but the Mafia wanted too much. I hear the only place you are ever invited is outside. I hear you are being accepted into an exclusive club because they need someone to snub. I hear you are connected to the Police Department by a pair of handcuffs. I hear you changed your mind! Heres a tissue, you have a little piece of sh*t on your lips. Trick Tupac Died & He Still Dropping Songs .. Stop Playing With Me 17. When you disappear, its a beautiful day. You also have the option to opt-out of these cookies. 26. Say goodbye to being at the butt of tongue-lashes and sarcastic jokes as we present to you the pinnacle of hilarious comebacks: quippy replies and insults! "You are living proof that evolution is reversable." Jokes4us.com Privacy Policy, submissons by: Tom P., oclark1998, Radjar, ngozicharles11, me021658, fofanajj23, jodielrobinson, sharionvernaza, dominobodyknows, kayleerainmcroberts, jkgirl1999, brumsterjake, harrymelling, Deeznuts, anthonywood, Steve C. Do you practice being stupid, or does it come naturally. When he is not writing in his favorite coffee shop, Igor spends most of his time reading, traveling, producing house music, and capturing light with his camera. But these will flatten your target on their back and wallow in self-pity. 50. You just might be why the middle finger was invented in the first place. It is mandatory to procure user consent prior to running these cookies on your website. Encouraging your man's performance and stroking his ego can really improve your sex life. Life is full of disappointments, and I just added you to the list. Why should I take all the credit? Brains arent everything. "Tell your Mom, I said "Hi" By But it seems that you already have. "Shouldn't you be out on a ledge somewhere?" Good Comebacks You Can Use In An Argument Today Roses are red, violets are blue, I have 5 fingers, the 3rd ones for you. 45. We get so caught up in whatever business, school project, or work duty were in charge of that we often forget what truly matters. 6789 Quail Hill Pkwy, Suite 211 Irvine CA 92603. We hope you enjoy this website. Any friend of yours - is a friend of yours. 42. Be ready. Some people just need a high five. 90. I consider you something a vulture would eat. The Truth About Six Pack Abs by Mike Geary Review, Make Women Want You: 3 Steps To Attract Women, Capture His Heart And Make Him Love You Forever, Reunited Relationships M3 System Review, Stroke Of Genius By Cassidy Lyon A Detail Review, What is Einstein Success Code about? Boyfriend says to group (friends)at a party "Yea, I m hung like a horse" Can I ignore you another time? 101. you are as interesting as with the documentary on the soil. Do your parents even realize theyre living proof that two wrongs dont make a right? you will make money. 88. if i want to kill myself I will increase your ego and jump to your IQ level. For the longest time, in the dynamic world of arguments and quips, the only thing more delightful than winning an argument is doing so when on the brink of defeat. I think your mommy gave you a poor upbringing. Required fields are marked *, Copyright 2023. Views. I mean, I kiss your mother with this mouth. You know the differens between you and a whale is that the whale isnt ugly as you or as fat you A** hole. 87. 77. This witty response takes the tactic of pretending the offer was genuine and kicks it up a notch by presenting the next step to make it happen. Funny Insults. Oh wait, it's not coming off. At least take me to dinner and a movie first. You should come with a warning label. Two wrongs dont make a right. I seem to be overestimating the number of brain cells you have. Have insults and a tactful return ready just in case. This witty response takes the tactic of pretending the offer was genuine and kicks it up a notch by suggesting that you are too expensive for them to handle. Thank you for the Bullshit sandwich, but I'm full. 32. I treasure the time I dont spend with you. When you disappear, it's a beautiful day. I know I make stupid choices, but youre the worst of all my choices. I called your boyfriend gay and he hit me with his purse. Stand still so I can hit you with my truck. Dont get caught with nothing to say. You are like a cloud. 27. Beam your phone up with these great ringtones from the Star Trek tv series. Can you do telekinesis? Mind if I ask where the OFF button for your mouth is? Here, let me wash the stupid right off of you. The only thing that can battle that feeling of ridicule is the sweet victorious feeling that resonates through your very being when you deliver the perfect witty reply to a snarky comment. dirty minded comebacks May 11, 2022 | How is a woman like a road? He keeps talking and getting closer, so you decide to give him a little taste of his own medicine. Your ass must be pretty jealous of all the shit that comes out of your mouth. It reminded me to take out the trash. If youre going to be a smartass, first you have to be smart. Im sorry. When the sanitation worker came, he forgot to take you along. "Keep Your opinions to yourself" Remember that time you were saying that thing I didnt care about? Some people are rude. Worry about your eyebrows. I say that you are not perfect, but you are doing alright. So, a thought crossed your mind? Mental Style Project has been created as an outlet to guide you as you navigate through life, with the right tools and resources that will upgrade your life, enable you to take charge of your personal growth, and improve your wellness journey. Are you on the lookout for some funny insults and comebacks. Husband: "Only you, Darling with all the others I was awake." I do not consider you a vulture. "Take it up with my ass because he's the only one who gives a shit." Guy: I think youre the best looking girl in here.Girl: Really? Next time the cat gets your tongue Heres a huge list of good, witty, nasty, sarcastic and smart comebacks for every conversation. I never even listen when you tell me them. Guy: Do you want to dance?Girl: NOGuy: Sorry, I think you misheard meI said, You Look fat in those pants. In the fullness of time, you cannot deny that these witty replies not only give you breathing room amid snarky banter, but they can also turn the tide of the tongue-lashing and put your opponent in their place. What did you do with the diaper? If genius skips a generation, your children will be brilliant. 16. Are you afraid that zombies will eat your brain? Well, dont worry, below you will find 25 of the best comebacks To smd. If you were on fire and I had water, Id drink it. Ill never forget the first time we met. Just because Im smiling doesnt mean I dont want to hit you in the face. I can explain it to you, but I cant understand it for you. Dont you get tired of putting makeup on your two faces every morning? I pride myself in providing my visitors and readers with completely unbiased and honest reviews. Boy: "Want to hear a joke about my dick? You are more disappointing than an unsalted pretzel. I cant suck something that doesnt exist. Your lips move. Some of our partners may process your data as a part of their legitimate business interest without asking for consent. "Shut Up your not suppose to talk while menstrating." Forcing the other person to awkwardly explain what they meant by suck my d*ck, likely making the flustered or embarrassed. Witty responses are better suited for more casual scenarios like a conversation with friends. Whats the difference between your d*ck and your joke? Ever since I saw you in your family tree, I've wanted to cut it down. It's not working out." Its okay, keep talking. document.getElementById( "ak_js_1" ).setAttribute( "value", ( new Date() ).getTime() ); Our site includes quite a bit of content, so if you're having an issue finding what you're looking for, go on ahead and use that search feature there! Collins English Dictionary. Youre living proof its possible to live without a brain. Manage Settings A clever response can be to pretend to not understand the statement. But it seems that you already have. One of my friends told me girls hate oral, do you wanna help me prove him wrong? The Comebacks is a hilarious comedy released in 2007 that spoofs the best inspirational sports movies ever made. Youre so stupid it might sprain your brain. 1. So I packed up my stuff and right. If ignorance is bliss, you must be the happiest person on the planet. "Just because you have a dick doesn't mean you can be one." 6. 30 Rarely Seen Pictures From History 10,714. Boy: "Life's a bitch, just like you." Don't like my sarcasm, well I don't like your stupid. "I'm sorry, I don't speak with the piece of shit that I dodge on the sidewalk." The only thing that offends me right now is your face. Youre so dumb, I bet your dog teaches you tricks. In the land of the witless, you would be king. Your secrets are always safe with me. Do you work at 411? Thank you, were all challenged by your unique point of view. There are several people in this world that I find obnoxious and you are all of them. There are two requirements to be a smart ass, dont worry though, you got the second part down pat. There is no vaccine against stupidity. There was something about you that I liked, but you spent it. They say opposites attract. No thanks, I have a toothpick already. Tall Black Guy: "You're short, Do you work for Willy Wonka." Guy: Is this seat empty?Girl: Yes, and this one will be too if you sit down. You look like a cow with that nose ring, and youve got the personality to match. Its so small. Here are some cool examples of the same that are bound to make you break into a smile. 71. Guy: So, wanna go back to my place?Girl: Well, I dont know, will two people fit under a rock? 24 Naughty Awesome Images For Those With A Dirty Mind 38 enjoyable images for the dirty mind 24 Photos That Prove You Have A Dirty Mind . Shhhh, please keep quiet while the adults talk. 66. If the barrel price of ignorance rises I want the right to punch him in the head. Theres no need to repeat yourself. 95. If you did, be sure to share them with your friends. Is it your duty to spread ignorance? I look ugly? Calling you an idiot would be an insult to all the stupid people. Good. Damn it, why didnt she think of it earlier! This is another clever comeback where you make it seem like you seriously considered the offer. You cant take a joke. 13. 1. 79. impressed! I hear theres a new app called Sense of Humor. Please download it. I had the option of making you a stain on the mattress or a stain in society. Take my lowest priority and put yourself beneath it. You like nature What does it do to you? Death is not the greatest loss in life. The world is crowded. You get into peoples hair. Are you a haunted house? Dont let the haters get you down! Im not saying that I hate you, but Id unplug your life support machine to charge my mobile. The ones that get under your opponents skin and really make them squirm. I have neither the time nor the crayons to explain this to you. I prefer a battle of wits, but you appear unarmed. I see youre still making stupid decisions like talking to me. Were you born this stupid or did you take lessons? Teds Woodworking Reviews All Hype or Does It Work. Youre living proof that evolution can go in reverse. Because so did Satan! Whats your number?Girl: Its in the phone book. 38. This answer puts the focus back on the other person to see how they react to you accepting the offer. 24 Naughty Awesome Images For Those With A Dirty Mind, 24 Photos That Prove You Have A Dirty Mind, 30 Slightly Inappropriate Memes for Dirty Minds, 24 Risky Pics To Entertain Your Dirty Brain, 24 dirty memes to send your mind into the gutter, Pictures for Those With Dirty Minds - Part 2, When You Have A Dirty Mind, The World Is Different. I hope your wife brings a date to your funeral. Guy: Does beauty run in your family?Girl: It obviously doesnt in yours! You cant fix ugly. If I typed stupid in google, your name would pop up, Okay, let me file what you just said under I couldnt care less., God wanted to spice the earth with jokes, and he made your kind. Guy: But I dont know your name.Girl: Thats in the phone book too. I like to make you look disgusting. Any cookies that may not be particularly necessary for the website to function and is used specifically to collect user personal data via analytics, ads, other embedded contents are termed as non-necessary cookies. You go to yours and Ill go to mine. Your birth certificate is an apology to your parents from the hospital. Im just smarter than you. Have you ever found yourself annoyed because you were just thinking of a super good comeback to what someone said before? Whenever I see you, middle finger gets an erection. Welcome to Grammarhow!We are on a mission to help you become better at English. Hold still. If I wanted to hear from an asshole, Id fart. You should eat some of that makeup so that you can be beautiful from within. I cant insult you. Girl: Shut up. Have you always been a fool, or did you make an extra effort today? Your face seems to be on fire. I couldve sworn I was dealing with an adult. If you want a man whos committed, go look in a mental hospital. Boy: "Life's a bitch, just like you." Girl: "Actually life is short, just like your dick." Big Guy: Your dick's so small, it's like a tic-tac.

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