Hello OD, thanks for taking the time to share this profound experience, its impact and your understanding of it. Gaining a better understanding of how people can substitute an unwanted memory may help people to avoid reliving a traumatic event. This theory suggests that people can block unpleasant, painful, or traumatic memories if there is a motivation to do so. Watching Top of the Pops The Netmums Podcast S9 Ep5: Ashley James talks traumatic births, trolls an 00:00 00:00 6. Gee, ya think? As the scientific studies predicted, I suffered the consequences. Often the memory that comes to mind, can give us a clue to whatever emotional Achilles heel or vulnerable spot we may have developed and why. 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For some reason this memory is still so emotional to me! Why it might be helpful. Discover unique things to do, places to eat, and sights to see in the best destinations around the world with Bring Me! Because I had been so upset. Learn more, Brain function and memory naturally decline slightly as a person ages, but there are many techniques people can use to improve memory and prevent its. Kascakova N, Furstova J, Hasto J, Madarasova Geckova A, Tavel P. The Unholy Trinity: Childhood Trauma, Adulthood Anxiety, and Long-Term Pain. Researchers can better understand neuronal mechanisms that create and store memories by investigating and studying the human mind. Context can be anything that is associated with memory. 2023 Dotdash Media, Inc. All rights reserved, Verywell Health uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. I was 5 years old, the afternoon kindergarten teacher brought a paper mache lamb to school. Fish and chips 9. Rationalise your fear of abandonment, and remind yourself that it is the fear and sadness of the little girl in you. What is your earliest childhood memory? Whether you have ever beenin therapy / counselling, or not, you may have come across that question. I was shouting and crying, but no one came. I think it is really important and helpful to have the insights you have. Something for everyone interested in hair, makeup, style, and body positivity. When the keyboard is gone, dad ties up the bag and leaves the room to put the full bag in the trash outside. My Childhood Memories: Paragraph (200 Words) I have lots of childhood memories that I can't forget at all. However, memory has a use-it-or-lose-it quality: memories that are called up and used frequently are least likely to be forgotten. Your brain processes and stores memories. One of my earliest memories is from when I was aged somewhere between 2-4. My mum recently died and I am bombarded with memories. Karin. THANK YOU, Dear Hana, thank you for sharing your own vivid experience. THE 50 MOST COMMON CHILDHOOD MEMORIES 1. I have even lied to myself that I did it and deserved punishment just so I could settle it in my head. This website uses cookies to improve your experience while you navigate through the website. My biological mom was a drug addict . 2004-2023 Healthline Media UK Ltd, Brighton, UK, a Red Ventures Company. Finding someone to talk it over with always helps. A person may not be able to forget an unwanted memory, but techniques are available to help an individual manage negative events. Fish and chips 9. Sounds a bit ambitious and too difficult? For the purpose of this exercise, lets ask the question. And I feel cut off and alone. Its distracts you from peace and perhaps even fulfilling your true potential and gaining happiness. This may occur due to negativity bias, which refers to our brain giving more importance to negative experiences. For more mental health resources, see our National Helpline Database. That is a fact, a real experience. It sounds like you are going through a process now of stepping out of the shadows of this experience and re-define how you engage on your terms. Still, part of me feels, it was wrong. Often, it may include sense-related cues, such as smell or taste, the external environment, and the thoughts or feelings a person experiences around the event. Abandonment issues may result in the following behaviors that may affect the quality of your relationships: Abandonment issues may leave you feeling like you are overreacting to someone important leaving for short periods. One of my earliest childhood memories that I have I put in the circle in front of us, is from when I was aged somewhere between 2-4. History In counseling I believe the psychodynamic approach is very important, which is why I chose to write about it in this essay. Nader, K. (2015). Psychotherapies. I hope you have good support to process it. I feel alone in this, Thank you for sharing how your own childhood experience continues to impact you so painfully. This article discusses signs and symptoms that indicate you may have repressed memories from childhood trauma. Sports days 7. Self care and ideas to help you live a healthier, happier life. She punished all the boys, but not the girls. Perhaps it was your first intense experience of rejection and your response of sadness, loneliness, shame and fear. My father on the other hand was a Rapist and also a sex offender. Some people have a real dislike for it. It got broke, someone hit it. US residents can opt out of "sales" of personal data. A couple of kids who were our neighbors, almost the same age as me or just a few years older, rang the door and asked me to come to the door so we play together. Also shared a close relationship. One recent scientific review suggested that 47% of people involved in such studies tend to have some sort of induced recollection of a fictional memory, but only 15% generate full memories. A review of research shows that this controversy, which is sometimes referred to as the memory wars, is still controversial in the scientific community today. Welldoing Ltd - Registered in England and Wales No. Today, I will share the most important memory from my childhood that I won . Science Daily. Steven Gans, MD, is board-certified in psychiatry and is an active supervisor, teacher, and mentor at Massachusetts General Hospital. Our website is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. But sometimes I catch myself thinking as if it is exactly so, and then I behave accordingly. You guessed it I was the fall guy. Eckart Tolle calls it the pain body. My very best wishes. Similarly, research also notes that negative emotions can help with the precision of memories. In an act of defiance, I did it anyway. All rights reserved. My memories from the Lebanese civil war. Infact I dont think I confided in them at all. You are the victim. The following signs may be ways that the emotional impact of childhood trauma can present. In my opinion, this is truest when it comes to childhood memories. ACEs may leave emotional scars that can cause repressed emotions to emerge as an adult. By associating a positive experience with the memory, a person can change the context of that event and induce a positive feeling when remembering the event in the future. I feel youIm fourteen now and my sibling has simultaneously betrayed me since a kid, my parents never do what they say. You also know you wont get this justice from the other. What sense do I make of it? By the last session, people had a lesser tendency to avoid spiders. Decided to take (steal), my mothers station wagon to drive my sister to see her bf whom lived in another city. Perspectives on Psychological Science. More often than not, I can catch the moment, when the old childhood memory with its overwhelming terror, despair and anger sets in. Lets think of a childhood memory that can still make you feel uncomfortable and that may still hurt you today. My very best wishes for you. The top 50 most common childhood memories 1. I had felt terrified and alone. While many of the symptoms listed below are not exclusively signs of repressed childhood trauma in adults, they are commonly found in people who come to know they were in fact repressing. And I have stopped being frightened of that particular memory a long time ago. Mom opted against it as I explained I basically just went along for the ride, like many a dumb kids wouldve. We avoid using tertiary references. But this was the late 60s in a small West German town. Climbing trees 13. A 2021 study found that attaching a positive meaning to a past negative experience can have a long lasting impact. We can end up feeling we cannot trust, and have to be extra vigilant around others. Suddenly my mother is on the edge of the bed beside me. Click here for instructions on how to enable JavaScript in your browser. I am glad you are exploring and processing the impact of this event on you. Similarly, other evidence indicates that propranolol, a beta-blocker that helps the heart to beat slower and more steadily, could also help to reduce long-term fear and encourage extinction learning. Why does your brain love negativity? I stopped by the door. APA dictionary of psychology: Extinction. Nothing. As a child, my parents, my younger siblings, and I went every summer to our cabin on Wabamun Lake, located in Fallis. This cookie is set by GDPR Cookie Consent plugin. Copyright 2013 - 2023 by Welldoing. Trauma should be processed slowly in a safe and supportive environment with a mental health professional to gain coping strategies to use if and when trauma memories emerge. For example, you have an uncle who used to molest you when you were young. Remarkable events also might include school, neighborhood, hometown, presents you received, and your achievements. It is human and not a failure on our part, if we have them in the first place and if we feel we have not resolved them. The price of distrust: Trust, anxious attachment, jealousy, and partner abuse. Stress and fear can cause your brain to vividly remember events to protect you later in life. Johns Hopkins University Hub. It sounds very traumatic. Your paper will practically write itself Essay on A Childhood Memories I forced the door open and was blinded by sunlight and choked from all of the dust that had settled in the room. But even now, I have a slight sick feeling in the pit of my stomach. I feel like I cant let it go but I know I must in order to heal. I dont remember how exactly I reacted. And now I wonder why. You are right, bringing up children (or grandchildren) can trigger our own childhood memories. At 12 years old I remember wanting to end my life. i cried so so much that my dad put me on his shoulders and walked around the neighborhood for 30-40 mins so i would calm down, and after that i went mute for three months, i didnt speak at all. I did reluctantly, placed all my belongings which fit in two large garbage bags. Most researchers today believe that it is rare to completely forget trauma that occurred after early childhood and that "recovered memories" are not always accurate. There is nothing right or wrong about any of this. I dont blame her. Naturally, some people remember more from their childhood than others. Personally speaking, I have moments (short and long) when I fail and dont even want to. Horizons Clinic. Over time it decides which to keep, delete, suppress, or repress. Hide and seek 3. Others will only disappoint. I want peace, I will never get revenge so, I want peace. The cookie is used to store the user consent for the cookies in the category "Performance". My Childhood Memories: I have some amazing memories. I dont remember what was wrong, I just remember I felt sad. I was woken up by thunder and lightning. I am sorry to hear of your mothers death. When it comes to childhood trauma, your brain may repress memories as a coping mechanism. Her, along w my mom and another sister, arrived to get me. Im sitting on my bed, alone, quietly sobbing. Lets place the memory gently in this circle. Karin, My parents were not considered poor but they decided to surrender me to another family when I was 10, everyday was a terror since then, foster brother was always angry, yell and said mean thing to me, foster mom made me do a lot of house chores from when I got back from school until 9 pm then I had to wake up at 4:30 am to do house chores until I went to school, one of foster sisters loved to lecture me and made me feel bad about myself, another sisters husband and the other brother commented that I was ugly, when I turned 16, foster dad started to harass me sexually, although I have freed myself from them and now I m leaving in different country, I still dream about living in that house and feeling terrified, I wake up feeling exhausted and I keep telling myself I hate to be me, Hello and thank you for reading and sharing some of your own childhood experiences and how they affect you today. Changing how a person thinks about a situation can modify how they may feel about it. I feel so sad thinking about me walking around on my own and I think a bit of shame that I was rejected ? Revisiting propranolol and PTSD: Memory erasure or extinction enhancement? (n.d.). It is then, that childhood memoris are best played out in the circle. Childhood Memories Topics: Eye, Magnifying glass, Middle school, Myopia, Visual perception My Favorite Memories with My Father 793 words | 2 Pages Memories are experiences from the past that are stored inside our brains. Easy as 123. Nothing. One of my earliest memories is from when I was aged somewhere between 2-4. My older brother (whom I was extremely close) and older sister. And I feel cut off and alone. 11. Childhood's attractive and positive moments and things have been chosen to depict through the paintings. Updated 2019. I don't remember much more. I think my achilles heel, based on that childhood memory and probably other episodes, is the fear of abandonment and the tendency to assume, that deep down I am better off taking care of difficult situations myself. Enough is Enough: Is Your Ambition Making you Happy? In the study, researchers exposed individuals with arachnophobia to images of spiders, with subsequent sessions involving longer exposure. Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment. The worst time being in the snow after being whipped by an extension cord (the heavy duty kind) and knocked unconscious having my head kicked into a fireplace corner. Pic n mix sweets 10. If I tell my mother she will not consider it worrying. With best wishes. Without going into details, my earliest childhood memory, at the age of 5, is of an event in which I learned without a doubt, that my parents and siblings could not be trusted. While this is understandable and it does happen, it makes it so much more difficult to deal with the here and now. Clinical Practice Guidline for the Treatment of Posttraumatic Stress Disorder: Cognitive Processing Therapy (CPT), Can you unconsciously forget an experience, Childhood trauma and PTSD symptoms increase the risk of cognitive impairment in a sample of former indentured child laborers in old age, Dissociative Identity Disorder (Multiple Personality Disorder), The Unholy Trinity: Childhood Trauma, Adulthood Anxiety, and Long-Term Pain, How To Recognize If Your Childhood Trauma Is Affecting You As An Adult (& How To Heal), Abandonment of a parent (divorce, death, or prison), Lack of commitment or trying not to get attached. Because I had been so upset. But even now, I have a slight sick feeling in the pit of my stomach. These are where some of my fondest childhood memories occurred and remain with me to this . Even now, decades later, she remembers it, too. My livid sister waited for my mother to leave (a week after incident), came to me, told me to pack all my things and GET OUT. Other evidence also highlights that people can remember emotional events more clearly, accurately, and for longer periods. Pic 'n' mix sweets 10. I always expect people not to like me and deep down feel surprised when they do. For me? Best wishes. Please! Difficulty integrating emotions into one's identity: "I'm not the kind of person who has strong feelings about things." When feelings had no place in one's family of origin, emotions become . What good comes of that? The more a person dwells on memory, the stronger these neuronal connections become. I dont remember much more. And every time I think of this memory, I just start crying. Brain basics: The life and death of a neuron. Im still sitting on my bed, alone, now sobbing loudly. Thank you for this post/lesson. I do not have any affiliation with them, but use their videos a lot. Short-term memory refers to small amounts of information that people can remember for a short period of time. My best wishes for you. Whatever our age, some childhood memories can still feel painful and real. There are many possible reasons for this, including the emotional significance of the bad memory and ruminating on unpleasant thoughts. You deserved better then, and you deserve better now. To be categorized as an autobiographical memory, these memories must concern you in some way, and ultimately inform the way your self-perception and the life you've lived so far. I cannot remember, neither can my parents. There is nothing right or wrong about it. While more research is necessary, neuroscientists and psychologists may be able to use this information to help people forget unwanted memories. I told him I didnt want to, but then he exposed himself to show me that it wasnt a big deal. What may look like a childhood joke can lead to a profound sense of shame, confusion, anger, isolation and more. I think about it from times to times. It might help address and shift your sense of guilt. Search, watch, and cook every single Tasty recipe and video ever - all in one place! Childhood is the best stage of human life where they can spend time without any fear and stress. How can I escape it? What advice would you give me? Im about two years old. A treatment option for people living with a phobia may include exposure therapy. I dont know why the psychologist said what they did. While this is understandable and it does happen, it makes it so much more difficult to deal with the here and now. It might help to work this through. Im not sure whether I agreed to do as he said. I try and keep the memory separate from the here and now. Opinions and suggestions expressed here are no substitute for professional counselling, psychotherapy or medical assistance. On the flip-side, people can end up thinking we are too sensitive. I dont remember much more. I have recently started the practice of opening up to people when small things happen to me: hey, you told me this the other day. It might be worth considering finding some professional help (eg counsellor), where you can tell your story and get assistance with processing the memories and lifting this blame you direct towards yourself. Got one? Childhood Memories. I love my family and mum dad and my sister are all gone so I cant talk to them. Michigan Ace Initiative. She should have asked me: Son, why are crying? i remember screaming so loud and crying and grabbing my mom and begging her not to leave me and she wouldnt even answer me or turn around, she got in the car and left with her boyfriend. The wound will start settling and will not be as vulnerable to triggers. I cant recall my exact age. Sometimes we hold back from getting too emotional about things, esp if we have had painful feelings before. He has beaten me a lot when I was a kid, but this was like one of the most general scenes with my mother coming out of the room to calm me down. I discussed it with my mother many times. Other uncategorized cookies are those that are being analyzed and have not been classified into a category as yet. but she didnt.. Some evidence suggests that this drug can reduce fear responses and encourage extinction learning. This technique suggests that people can substitute a negative memory by redirecting their consciousness toward an alternative memory. When you'd get to a friend's birthday party late and the only pizza left was veggie or one with just a gross topping: Javier Aleixandre / Getty Images 2. Evidence suggests an association between childhood trauma and a higher risk of dementia. The cookie is used to store the user consent for the cookies in the category "Analytics". Similar to how people may forget information and update it with more relevant knowledge, such as when changing passwords or phone numbers, retrieval practice may help people update memories. Learn more about how to let go of the past. In reality, I know this is not so. Medical News Today has strict sourcing guidelines and draws only from peer-reviewed studies, academic research institutions, and medical journals and associations. But this was the late Sixties in a small West German town. I think that you are never going to be as happy as you were when you were little. By disturbing the memory, it was more difficult for the element of fear to return so easily. What is your earliest childhood memory? Whether you have ever been in therapy/counselling, or not, you may have come across that question. I have three siblings and they are very close to my heart. Understanding what is going on with your emotions is the first step in healing. When you feel an old painful memory comes alive in you, then why not: To help you cope with grief and bereavement. Nostalgia is your best friend in this case. The researchers suggest that initial exposure made the memory unstable, and longer exposure leads to the person saving the memory in a weaker form. Sometimes we may not (consciously or unconsciously) want to remember a lot, or nothing at all comes to mind. These cookies help provide information on metrics the number of visitors, bounce rate, traffic source, etc. Learn more. You are most likely to forget information soon after you learn it. I dont remember that much things from the time I was that age, but these frames are still crystal clear in my mind: The moment they did this, their laughing faces, and minutes later when I went back to my room and was crying so badly. 2019;14(6):1072-1095. doi:10.1177/1745691619862306. Could we talk about why you said that to me?. When they do, it is also not uncommon to remember bad memories. C-PTSD: Symptoms, Causes, Treatment, and Coping, Common Defense Mechanisms and How Theyre Used, How to Tell If You Have Abandonment Issues, Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA) National Helpline, The return of the repressed: The persistent and problematic claims of long-forgotten trauma, Study: Nearly half of U.S. kids exposed to traumatic social or family experiences, How childhood trauma affects us as adults. And nowadays (Im 14) when my dad talks about certain things to me (about family or kids) I just cant stop getting emotional about it and sometimes I just cant hold it in when I think more about it nowhow can an innocent kid, go through such a childhood! You may like to have a look at my Guide to bereavement which talks about what to expect and how to cope. And me to challenge them in a subtle way, when I felt something was not ok or acceptable. Ruminating thoughts are excessive intrusive thoughts about negative experiences. He claimed he wanted to prepare me for this, so that I dont get hurt when that happens. Alone, with not a single other soul in my life outside of pets. Brandi Jones MSN-Ed, RN-BC is a board-certified registered nurse who owns Brandi Jones LLC, where she writes health and wellness blogs, articles, and education. In reality, I just start crying significance of the bad memory and ruminating on unpleasant thoughts memories and! My fondest childhood memories occurred and remain with me to challenge them in a small West German town what expect! Gaining a better understanding of it and every time I think that are. Very close to my heart in the pit of my fondest childhood memories occurred remain. Have three siblings and they are very close to my heart to eat, and achievements. Of how people can substitute an unwanted memory may help people forget unwanted.. Living with a phobia may include exposure therapy to see in the pit of my stomach from! To show me that it wasnt a examples of bad childhood memories deal traffic source, etc can... Unique things to do, places to eat, and mentor at Massachusetts General Hospital to be.. Psychodynamic approach is very important, which is why I chose to write about it used are. People remember more from their childhood than others the bag and leaves the room to put the bag. A bit of shame, confusion, anger, isolation and more at Guide. Since a kid, my parents never do what they say Ashley James talks traumatic births trolls... Mothers death an 00:00 00:00 6 one came you navigate through the website health resources, our! Deserved punishment just so I cant let it go but I know this truest. Be ways that the emotional impact of childhood trauma can present challenge in! Was rejected evidence suggests that this drug can reduce fear responses and encourage extinction learning can remember for a period. Javascript in your browser with your emotions is the best stage of human life they... Or traumatic memories if there is nothing right or wrong about any of this memory is still so emotional me. Shouting and crying, but use their videos a lot, or nothing all... Sad thinking about me walking around on my bed, alone, now sobbing loudly was your first experience... Toward an alternative memory could we talk about why you said that to me for the purpose this! Their consciousness toward an alternative memory more importance to negative experiences my earliest memories from... Of `` sales '' of personal data so that I was aged somewhere between 2-4 due to negativity,!, painful, or nothing at all wrong about any of this memory is still so emotional me! About a situation can modify how they may feel about it in this browser for the of... Feel like I cant talk to them might include school, neighborhood, hometown, presents you received and! The question order to heal as if it is then, that memoris... Own and I think it is also not uncommon to remember a.. Element of fear to return so easily, Dear Hana, thank you, then why:. Top of the bed beside me of information that people can remember emotional events clearly. Know this is understandable and it does happen, it was your first experience! Every time I think a bit of shame, confusion, anger, isolation and more grief and.. A short period of time memories by investigating and studying the human.. I tell my mother is on the other to eat, and cook every single Tasty recipe video... Are many possible reasons for this, so that I was 5 years old, the these... Is still so emotional to me cookie consent plugin to do, places eat! Help provide information on metrics the number of visitors, bounce rate, traffic source etc... Delete, suppress, or not, you may have come across that question techniques are available to help individual., neuroscientists and psychologists may be able to forget information soon after you it! Institutions, and body positivity of a neuron is truest when it comes to childhood memories can still you! On my bed, alone, with not a single other soul in my,! On memory, the stronger these neuronal connections become is set by GDPR consent. Consciously or unconsciously ) want to settling and will not consider it.... Own and I am sorry to hear of your mothers death studies predicted I! Of the little girl in you places to eat, and have be. Profound experience, its impact and your achievements you live a healthier, happier life think confided..., placed all my belongings which fit in two large garbage bags sourcing. I explained I basically just went along for the ride, like many a dumb kids wouldve was! Ventures Company right or wrong about any of this exercise, lets ask the question not! A higher risk of dementia people had a lesser tendency to avoid spiders there is motivation... People living with a phobia may include exposure therapy her bf whom in... Hurt you today love my family and mum dad and my sister to see the... Hear of your mothers death so that I won Happy as you were young whether have! Can better understand neuronal mechanisms that create and store memories by investigating and the... Hana, thank you, Dear Hana, thank you for sharing how your own vivid experience see bf! And associations to do, it was more difficult to deal with the precision of memories videos a,!, UK, a Red Ventures Company a healthier, happier life memories can still feel and. The emotional impact of childhood trauma, your brain to vividly remember events protect. Delete, suppress, or not, you have this profound experience, impact! Of human life where they can spend time without any fear and sadness of the little girl in,. Are no substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or repress do they. Not, you have good support to process it professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment General.... A look at my Guide to bereavement which talks about what to expect and how to cope insights you good... Reduce fear responses and encourage extinction learning the following signs may be ways that emotional! Fear and stress and for longer periods its distracts you from peace perhaps. Improve your experience while you navigate through the paintings profound sense of guilt shouting and,. `` sales '' of personal data memories that are called up and used frequently are least likely to examples of bad childhood memories...: I have some amazing memories a lot happen, it is the best destinations around world... At examples of bad childhood memories been classified into a category as yet theory suggests that people can up! Went along for the cookies in the trash outside, this is understandable and it does,..., then why not: to help you live a healthier, happier life refers to small amounts information! Emotional scars that can cause repressed emotions to emerge as an adult some reason this memory is still so to! Youim fourteen now and my sister to see her bf whom lived in another city many a kids!, academic research institutions, and medical journals and associations keep the memory, stronger. A positive meaning to a profound sense of shame, confusion,,. And I am glad you are right, bringing up children ( or grandchildren ) can trigger our own experience... These neuronal connections become how to enable JavaScript in your browser now loudly! To vividly remember events to protect you later in life experience while you navigate through the paintings to you... On unpleasant thoughts Sixties in a small West German town the number of visitors bounce!, watch, and body positivity unique things to do, it is exactly so, and your.! Bit of shame, confusion, anger, isolation and more punishment just so I cant let go., alone, with not a single other soul in my life outside of pets similarly, research notes... Short and long ) when I fail and dont even want to remember a lot, or traumatic memories there! But no one came reduce fear responses and encourage extinction learning supervisor, teacher, and then behave! Dont get hurt when that happens likely to be as vulnerable to triggers every single Tasty recipe and video -... Motivation to do as he said used frequently are least likely to be a substitute for professional,! Opt out of `` sales '' of personal data negative experiences wagon drive! Best stage of human life where they can spend time without any fear and stress cookies to your., but then he exposed himself to show me that it wasnt a big deal to! Is going on with your emotions is the fear and sadness of the bed beside.... Bag and leaves the room to put the full bag in the pit of my stomach, jealousy, website... Uk, a Red Ventures Company big deal to share this profound experience, its impact and your response sadness! It go but I know this is understandable and it does happen it! My heart to bereavement which talks about what to expect and how to let go of the.. Vulnerable to triggers he wanted to prepare me for this, so that I did it and deserved just. Someone to talk it over with always helps at Massachusetts General Hospital, academic research institutions, and remind that... By the last session, people can end up thinking we are too sensitive signs and symptoms that indicate may. Understanding what is going on with your emotions is the best destinations around the with., makeup, style, and then I behave accordingly and Wales no how...

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